Grief in Spring

My mom passed away in May just before her birthday, which is why I often feel a lot of grief in the spring. I miss her, when things in my life change or exciting things happen, I still think, “I should call mom and let her know”. I know I am not alone in this type of thinking; many people feel this way.

The thing about grief is we all go through it or live with it.

Some grief, like a dear friend moving away, is something we go through. It doesn’t linger or follow us in our everyday lives. But we still mourn for that friend when they first move. And then we readjust to the changes in that friendship or the changes in our visits with each other. And the grief passes.

Some grief is felt for others. When I look at the plight of the Palestinian people my heart hurts. I feel grief for all their losses as I know how painful it is to lose a loved one. But I don’t know how painful it is to lose your home, food, security, and to live in ruins as the world turns its back on you. But I am an empathetic person, so I imagine the pain is unbearable, and I grieve for these people.

Some grief comes from change. Our country is going through a bad transition and many of us grieve for some sense of humanity to return. This grief calls us to action.

Some grief comes from the loss of a pet. The pet that made us feel unconditionally loved, and we loved them back unconditionally. And we miss that.

Some grief is because we have lost someone so important to us that we didn’t dare imagine life without them: a parent, a sibling, a partner, a husband, a wife, a child. This is the type of grief we live with all the time. And there is no getting around it. This type of grief may show up out of the blue and pass for a while and show up over and over again. Our culture is afraid of grief so we like to think we can get over this, but in reality we only learn to live with it. And it changes, from overwhelming pain to a smile and back again.

We are blessed that we are able to feel grief. Grief doesn’t happen when you don’t love.

It is the fact that if we love that we feel grief. It may not make it easier to feel grief, but it’s good to know that we loved someone enough for our hearts to hurt when they pass.

Love is the thing that brings us together with people, pets, nature, the world and grief is the reminder that we were so lucky to have loved.

May your grief be light enough for you to bear and may your love be big enough to hold grief.