“Wonderings”

A hopeful – and hopefully helpful blog for families and caregivers

When we worry…they worry.

I have noticed our children and youth have been worried about the current Administration.

They are worried about people being sent away. They are worried about his meanness and how it will affect the world. They are worried about their sexuality and gender. They are worried about their futures, without being able to explain exactly what worries them.

I have read that some psychologists have recommended that children do not watch him, or listen to him on the radio. These stories date back to his first administration through today. He is harmful to our children’s developmental and mental health.

And he is harmful to our mental health. But in this moment the mental health of our children is a great concern for all of us. Medications for various mental health issues are under fire by the new Secretary of Health and Human Services.
The new Health and Human Services regime is talking about trying to stop the use of psych meds for children with anxiety, depression, ADHA, OCD and other mental health issues. As if the Secretary knows more about each of our children than we do.

Parents understand that each child is an individual, with individual needs. They have discussions with their doctors about their children’s mental health and mental health medications. Parents are concerned about their children’s mental health. Most parents only put their child on meds because things are so unmanageable for their child.

Yes, we are a heavily medicated society. But you don’t change it by taking away medication. You change it by making society a more inclusive place. In my humble (non-medical) opinion, as we have become a more negative and hateful society, our children have become more anxious, more OCD (trying to control their environment) more depressed, more unable to focus and more isolated. (And of course, there are the environmental issues that affect how our brains function. And there is a myriad of reasons that children have mental health issues, trauma, abuse, illicit drugs, etc.)

But as people feel more and more marginalized all kinds of mental health issues arise.

In my (non-medical) opinion we keep the meds and work on building a society that cares about people.

How do we do that? It starts with us being the grownups in the room. We need to be working towards building a better future for our kids, grandkids and all the generations to follow. That means we speak out on the issues that matter. Diversity, Equity Inclusion, Education, SNAP, Section 8 Housing, Health Care etc. We put ourselves in the position of making noise when we are uncomfortable. We find common ground with those who feel like our enemy. We listen to their stories and share our stories and the stories of about the people we love who are marginalized and share the fact that we, as a country are marginalizing them.

We need to protest in the streets. Show up when asked, break bread with those who are othered. And we need to drag our children and youth along, so they can see we care, and that others care. There is a sense of security in seeing people in action doing work to make things better.

Children can learn safety is not a guarantee but that there is comfort and strength in working towards making the world a kinder, more inclusive place. And that’s what’s important.

I know these changes will not cure most of the mental health issue we face, but it could be a start.

When you worry and don’t make an effort to make change our children worry and they may feel confused about their worries, and their worries will take on a different meaning for them then they do for us and they will manifest differently from ours.

As long as we working toward making a better world, we can worry less.
Our mental health, the mental health of our children is under attack.
Many of the executive orders have targeted women, LGBTQ folks, POC, folks with handicaps and other marginalized groups.

Worrying won’t help.
Action will! Now, is the time.

And remember you deserve joy, and to play, to dance, to sing, and to hug.
We are strong, joyful, caring people.
Together, let us stand on the side of love with arms open and loud voices.