” Wonderings”
A hopeful – and hopefully helpful blog for families and caregivers
Searching for love.
As I write this it’s been about nine days since a new reality in this country. It feels like years.
It’s been hard, the anti-humanity is hard to take and it hurts.
And so, I and hopefully you are searching for ways to love and to help our fellow humans who are being hurt in this moment.
I am not of the school that I need to love the enemy. I need to respect their humanity and that is as far as I can take it. And when I have trouble seeing their humanity, I remind myself that they are human.
My love is saved for those who live with integrity, who believe that immigrants, POC, LGBTQA, the working poor and the poor, the folks who do acts of kindness, the people who put themselves on the front lines for the oppressed, local leaders whose values support humanity, and people who find joy in mixing cultures, and people and the earth. Those are the people my love is for.
I am aware that as UUs we should make every effort to love everyone. But in my opinion, we can’t love a person who is causing harm to so many.
We can grieve over the cruelty, as we watch things fall apart, and we can hold each other. And we can work towards a better future.
So how do we work towards a better future?
We may need to look back at MLK Jr’s work and think about how children helped change the world in the 1950s and 60s.
We can volunteer our time. We can support people running for office whose values align with ours. We can give money to organizations like the ACLU, the Southern Poverty Law Center, to local politicians, local groups etc.
And we can teach our children how to live out our values. We need to teach them now because they will inherit all this. And they need to know that they and we can change things.
Many of us are privileged in various ways and sometimes we want to protect our children from the hard realities of the world. But the fact is most children of the world deal with harsh realities every day. I am not suggesting that you overwhelm your child with how tough things are. But show them that we can make change.
Bring your children to demonstrations, have them make posters, involve them in learning about the facts (age appropriate). At a recent demonstration I met an 8 year old boy giving out bracelets that he and his family had made specifically for the demonstration. He told me they were giving out the bracelets so they could let people know that what they are doing is important. He made a lot of people smile at that day.
(On a side note, I went to demonstrations all the time as a child; sometimes they were fun, sometimes boring, but I think that is how I became an activist and learned to live out my values.)
Another thing we can do is talk with our children about the things we’ve done and continue to do to help the world. Tell them about the letter you wrote to a Senator or the local paper. Tell them about the money you gave to help feed people or a go fund me page for someone in need. Maybe you read an article about climate change or alternative energy. Discuss these things with your children.
What is important to you will become important to your children as they grow up.
I believe anti-racism needs to be in the forefront of what we do, as DEI slowly gets stripped away. Of course, it hurts more people than POC, LGBTQ, and women. But there are degrees of racism in this that are overwhelming. If your interest lies in climate change discuss the effects that our system has on POC and the poor. If LGBTQ is at the forefront for you, remember that our siblings of color suffer even more than those of us who are “white” as their voices are even more silenced than white folks.
There’s so much that needs work: immigration, the prison pipeline, energy, food insecurity etc. etc. You can only do so much. It’s okay to pick the thing that most resonates for you. And if you find it too overwhelming to decide what to do, join something a friend is doing. Start small. You have a lot on your plate. You are raising kids. And raising anti-racist, caring children is what the world needs.
We need to remember that this is about more than you and me. It is about all of us.
Now is the time.
Here are a few things to think about:
What do you think we can do as a church community to help teach our children and youth about leadership, values and responsibility to our world?
Are you interested in having your children learn to be activists?
If so why, if not why not?
What will we as a community do for the next four years?
As I end this blog remember to find joy, play, dance, sing, hug.
Some in power would like us to feel totally helpless and lost. We’re not – we are strong, joyful, caring people and we will not give in to being held captive by the things they do.
Together, let us stand on the side of love with arms open.
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